Getting out of bed every morning:
Tightrope walking may be symbolically the quintessential statement of courage and challenge but there is the daily defiance that though insignificant in grandeur and demoralizing in nature, is by far, the most virtuous in the most subdued and sublime of manner:
succomb to a ragdoll gravity
I lie on the floor
summoning the strength inside me
I still need more
pully-up pully-up
another day, another minute
another hour.
eat-up eat up
meal after empty meal
desires devour
morsel of protein and bone
I shlupp my organ meats
and ask for reheats
why so tasty why so good
because I know myself best
because I know myself a beast
I recognize this flesh
self-indulgent self loathing feast
I am brave every time I open my eyes.
And braver still when I don't shut them back closed.
I lash out at shadows in Platos cave.
It is all real no reason to question that,
assumptions are strong, This is my world as I perceive it
I am bravest when not believing.
I am bravest when I am exhaling.
I am bravest when I am chicken shit,
but look at myself and admit it.
I am no captain ranger, or an indian chief
I'm not much of a dancer or a guru yogi
I never finished school the way my fantasies told me I would.
I look rather ordinary and plain, but my "internal to me-free"-will can't complain
Burdoned with split divided will
what is free
divided will, free will only to a point
The prevalent stumbles are always
the letting go of the future and releasing wrongful acts
of the past.
I am brave every time I open my eyes.
bravest when letting go...
Are we, Are we just fooling ourselves?
with a weath of imagination
without drawing from realities wells
to rescue us isolation
painful lonelyness it quells?
Oh dear, what have we done?
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